Posted on Wednesday, November 10, 2010, at 5:02 AM
my world is coming to an end I feel. The endless not studying for subjects..
The running away from enemies and friends..
I somehow am trying to get away from my life and be alone..
Being an extrovert this ain't possible..
So now I am suffering deeply and no one pretty much cares..
After all I'm that person who started this gap.
So many things happened.. Everytime I know graduation is at the corner I get these flashbacks of that painful mistake I made. And I still can forget it.
Somehow due to that incident I sort of swore to myself never to get a bestfriend. For I might break another friendship.
But that has brought me loneliness, despair, a willless soul in making. I really appreciate friends I made in my primary school years. I feel that they are here to guide me to the correct path.. Even though they aren't beside me during my secondary school life, I think they still know me better.. After all, I became a different person when I got into secondary school..
I really want to talk to someone but there isnt anyone I dare to approach.
My hopes are running thin. O levels are ending which means I might have less time with my friends in secondary school. And yes they are less significant but they are still friends.
I really hate this promise I made, my mistake can't be forgotten even though the victim has forgiven me.
I am a righteous guy, I go by my own principles and through these years of constant moral and civil education, I believe I have the correct values.
However, DETERMINATION AND PERSERVERANCE are two of the hardest to use. How can perservere to be determined when I have been insulted and brought down when I get a drive. My ears aren't sharp but sometimes my ears just become super sensitive and when words like 'retarded' 'useless' come in, it really makes an imapct. I might be the most sensitive guy out there but I don't show it.. If only I had a soulmate. It would be perfect.
Posted on Saturday, August 7, 2010, at 9:27 AM
HELLO!ERM. HI! BONJOUR!
KONINCHIWA!
ANA HA SAE YO!
I AM FREAKING BORED!
EL ORAL IS THIS FRI!
5 MORE DAYS!
ERM.. HAVING ULCERS..
ERM... kinda have stuff to say and kinda dont have stuff to say..
cant think straight... ≠ GAY OKAY!
BYE?
Posted on Friday, June 4, 2010, at 9:39 AM
I am back! Seems like my previous post stirred up quite a matter..
this makes me conclude that RELATIONSHIPS makes everyone curious!
well.. as you can see from the date.. it has been a long time.
anyways. i have not talked to that person just to be safe.. so we barely talk to each other alr..
after Chinese O's...
was the start of the HOLIDAY REMEDIAL CLASSES. At first it was quite easy-going..
everything was as per normal.. untill..
one by one.. teachers come and ask.. 'so what are you going to do for (subject) this holiday? don't just focus on this ah! you must also do others!'
first, you ask me to do that subject then ask me to do others! RELAX! you are that subject teacher! not the other subject teacher!
so much unwanted stress..
theres like so many stuff to do... but so little time left..
theres practically 2 months left.
i have Phy TYS, Chem TYS, 2x E Maths Booklet, 2x A maths Booklet, Geog TYS, SS TYS..
HELLO!!! 2 months leh! what the hell.. so many stuff to do..
i want to go out..
i miss my friends.
i want to play!
AIYAH!
Posted on Saturday, May 15, 2010, at 10:34 AM
I forgot who asked me that question but..anyways.. the question was 'who is my best friend'
to me.. I dont think i have best friends..
I have friends, but no BEST friend..
Its too hard to choose who should be my best friend.
Its too subjective. there isnt a point to pick one who you think is a better friend..
What do best friends do anyway?
the same as what normal friends would do right?
so what's the point about asking if i have best friends when i treat them equally?
I choose my friends. So in order for one to be my friend, he/she has already passed the stage of 'normal passer-by'
that could mean that you are my best friend. but that also means every friend of mine is my best friend.
Another thing. Someone said my life is boring?
haha.. yes.. its boring.. but theres nothing i rather do.
you ask me to study? GO DIE LAH!
haha.. i do what i want.
also... a few days ago.. i received news that theres someone that likes me?
well. i dont know.. i feel that too.. all of a sudden, she is like so close to me..
But.. She isnt the one i want...
RELATIONSHIPS SUCKS!
Posted on Tuesday, April 27, 2010, at 6:39 AM
I dont know whether to call it GREAT news or not..but.. i start to lose feelings for her...
i have not been thinking about her these few days..
its that a good thing? i dunno but i seem to be thinking about someone else..
jeez.. maybe i waited too long.. my mind just changed target?
i dont know..
damn. my blog is an emo blog.. :(
Posted on Thursday, April 15, 2010, at 2:15 AM
Crap...The only word i can think of that can describe my feelings now..
i dont know what's wrong with me..
I think i'm getting too lazy.. too dedicated to other stuff that should not even be thought of...
i need to refocus my attention!
damn this feeling...
These weeks... i have been thinking and asking people for lots of help..
though i might say that it doesnt help or didnt agree to it, it helps me.
I have learnt that i am thinking to much.. I am making my own life much more complicated than it should.
However, there are some stuff that i cant forget about it by just thinking of forgetting about it..
JUST AT THIS FREAKING TIME! I get A FREAKING CRUSH!
and i dont know love...
i hate the feeling that i want to talk to her and cant...
she was in a group of firmiliar people and i cant even go and talk to the firmiliar people there..
its as if she has an aura...
damn.. her voice is so attention grabbing..
her actions is so crazy.. its so hard to resist... its not even logical if you can ignore her!
HOW!? i want answers.. or at least her to talk to me...
i dont know.. i feel FUCKED UP!
argh! dont know why.. i just want to post it here.. even though i dont want people to see it..
I HATE THIS!
TESTS all coming up and i am still rotting!
This few days i am getting overly sensitive again.. taking all the bad comments and blaming everything on me!
FREAK! I WANT A BREAK!
Posted on Friday, April 2, 2010, at 10:26 PM
THIS FEELING SUCKS!whats the point of thinking of something over and over again when i dont even take any action!?
i need someone to tell me what to do!
tell me what can i do.. what i should do..
MAKE ME DO THE RIGHT THING!
so many factors..
where's my BEST FRIENDs....
FUCK THIS!